There is a darkness that is so present it becomes its own kind of light. ~ Anish Kapoor

On the profound and transformative power of darkness in writing, marriage, art, and life

Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. ~ Eudora Welty

My son Max is getting married on June 7, almost exactly one month from now. Wedding plans are in full swing—catering menu, seating charts, suit and dress fittings, flowers, morning-after brunch, and millions of other details. A wildly hectic time. So, I was very happy when Max agreed to spend an evening with his mom last week to talk about marriage. Not the wedding, but marriage. I wanted to humbly—having failed once—share a few things I have learned from my own two back-to-back marriages: one with Max’s father for eleven years, and my current marriage to Jon, which will reach twenty years this August (plus the five we spent together before we married, four of which living together). All told, that’s thirty-five years, and since my first marriage slid straight into my second (not recommended if you can help it), I have not been single for even one day since I was twenty years old. That should be a whole ot…