🧵 Thursday Thread: "How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” –Judy Blume

What would you say to someone who is too afraid to participate ... but wants to?

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“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.” Louisa May Alcott

Hi, WITDers,

I love Judy Blume. Her work has shone so much light, love, and power into so many crevices of lonely fear for so many readers across place and time. It’s staggering.

Whether I’m writing memoir, fiction, poetry (or “poem-ish” things), or craft essays, I want my work to do that too—bring the oxygenating and disinfecting properties of truth and courage and love to the brackish waters of fear.

That’s why I was so moved last week by a lovely, heartfelt note I received from a WITD member in response to my Rumpus essay, “Incorrigible: A Love Story”:

Hi Jeanine, 

I'm too afraid to share my comments publicly. However, I did want to let you know I read your Rumpus essay and I thought it was beautifully written. 

I recently did the Story Challenge exercise on horizon and memory, I liked being able to pick out those little nuggets in your essay. 

I particularly liked when you wondered if the sight of you reminds your mother of too many things that hurt to look at. It's something I've pondered about my family and it's nice to know I'm not alone in these difficult questions. 

I was also cheering you on when I read, "I'm not trying so hard to be good anymore. I'm already enough."

The pleasurable turns of phrases/language that really popped for me were:

- "But it's possible that the truest things live in the spaces between"

- "[...] where stars don't matter - where nothing does."

- "fierce, flawed love"

While I'm writing. I have a question for you. I'm well versed in the bottle of Not Good Enough (NGE) and believing perfectionism was a compliment. I really do want to be a part of the Writing in the Dark community. However, when I start the challenges I end up reading the comments and the NGE tape explodes in my brain and I freeze (and that is why here I am months later working through the Story Challenge and the Visceral  Self) Any ideas on how to participate but avoid freezing?

Grateful for all you do! 

Signed,

Not Good Enough

I have to say, part of why this letter move me so much is because I know this kind of fear and paralysis. I lived it for a long time, and, because of that, it still lives in me and can be awakened in certain circumstances. I will always have the shape of that fear inside me—but, I know now, as Louisa May Alcott said, that I can steer my ship.

I have thoughts for Not Good Enough, and am going to address this topic in a future Lit Salon post, but was hoping that today, you could all share your words of wisdom on overcoming the fear of jumping in—both literally jumping in to the participatory (and safe, calm, warm!) waters of WITD, but also more broadly.

How do we overcome our tendency to freeze at the threshold of the very things we most desire? How do you befriend your fears?

Anais Nin famously said, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

How do you invite yourself to blossom in spite of your fears and resistance?

Thank you in advance for your thoughts this morning. You are my beloved community. I am so grateful for all of you.

Love,

Jeannine

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