🧵Thursday Thread: What Makes You YOU?

“I learned that if I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” ~Audre Lorde

Hi, friends!

What makes you you—it’s a radical question to ask. I’ll share how I got there in a minute.

But first, thank you so so so much for your amazing contributions to last week’s Thread on writers and writing that changed your life. What a resource. My goal is to assemble it all into a future post, so watch for that!

Also: if you didn’t get a chance to try the erasure exercise we did yesterday, that, too, is ablaze with joyful genius. Several of you have emailed photos of your erasures, and they are amazing. My plan is to make some kind of Writing in the Dark erasure collage for you. If you want to add yours, you can send it to me at admin@elephantrockwriting.org.

And now, for this week’s Thread … I said on Notes yesterday that one of the nicest surprises of this platform has been that my sincerity (a core trait of mine) isn’t a deal-breaker, the way it can be in other digital spaces.

In other words, I can be me, as I am, and that’s … welcome? Or, at least, all of you sure make it feel that way. Here’s how I described that on Notes.

Sincerity and “trying hard” aren’t the only trait I value in myself. I’m actually really funny in real life, believe it or not! And I’m loyal and warm and an animal lover and I pick up litter.

But I think the trait that makes me me is my urgency and devotion to growing things: art and ideas and projects, yes, but also friendships, relationships, communities and, I’m looking for the way to say this that makes sense, but capacities. I like growing capacities in myself and helping to grow them in others. That’s the teacher in me!

And thinking on all that reminded me of something

Billie Oh

wrote years ago, when their spelling was, well, you can see for yourself, but their heart was already, well, you can see that too.

And remembering that got me thinking about all of you: what do you like about yourself? What are the traits that make you exactly who you are, and why do you value those traits? Even the quirky ones that don’t “translate” on Twitter?

This isn’t the most writing-related question, but it’s not entirely unrelated, either. Because being able to see and recognize these quirkier traits and the character elements that run beneath them (I paint without taping because I’m lazy and but also perfectionist but also recovering from perfectionism!) also enlivens our writing. So, there’s that.

“I learned that if I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” ~Audre Lorde

Anyway, I know it’s a strange and uncomfortable question, but I would love celebrate what you think makes you you. Anecdotes welcome!

Love,

Jeannine