I thought about this upcoming intensive just yesterday when I found out that a religious sister I knew in my twenties--a woman who influenced my formation during my coming of age--is dying of pancreatic cancer. A mutual friend reached out to me via email to share the news, ending with, "If you want to send her a card, here's her address."
I instantly fished out a blank card from my stash and thought, "I can't just write a few sentences. This woman needs to know my heart. I want her to know how much she means to me before she dies."
So, the stakes are kinda high for me on this one.
But I faltered in beginning a letter. There's so much to say, but I don't want to overwhelm her. Then again, maybe she would welcome a long letter? I'm not sure where to begin. I have some flashes of memory from my early twenties when we were exchanging intimate conversations, dialogues that invigorated and challenged me. Many of her words propelled me not to give up on my life, myself, my dreams.
All that to say, I am eager to dive in tomorrow, but also tentative. It's becoming increasingly hard for me to write about the dark things, though I don't avoid it. It's just painful.
Jeannie, I am sorry to hear about your friend, and I wish you clarity in writing to her. You will say the right things. She will know your heart. As for the dark things, we need also to write light things, funny things, easy things, plain things. It can't and shouldn't always be dark! We have to have a range, and some balance, and some beauty, too. All the things. xo
That’s a good reminder. I do write about “all the things,” both light and dark. It’s just that certain repressed memories keep surfacing, and they come in flashes that I tend to journal about, but with great effort. I have a certain sense, because I am not a novice at writing, how to allow a story to unfold naturally—in seeds, in snippets, over time. It seems the dark things just keep coming to me more often these days, but maybe I do need to revisit writing about the ordinary moments again.
I am confident that you can trust your instincts, and listen to your heart, your body, and your intuition on how much to press, and how much to lean back, as these flashes come to you. There is no right answer, and the answer might differ day to day (as you know). But, no matter how you press or do not, the reprieve of the ordinary holds value and invitation. xo
I appreciate your wisdom and mentorship so much, Jeannine. Thank you kindly. I know you are right. I will listen to that intuition. It’s helpful to hear it from an objective party.
appreciate this response. I have now written 2 pieces that are linked and seem to be coming together as the middle of a larger story. unplanned and the zero waste effect. anyway, I have been a bit down lately/struggling and while not consciously carrying these pieces in day to day thought, I've wondered if the intensity and weight of this writing (dark) is coloring me. I had already thought that on the next exercise (SCHOOL or here), that I will NOT go there for awhile. to let things simmer and try something different. as you say, light, funny, plain. timely words for me. thank you.
Yes, to all this. Also, when writing dark material, I highly highly highly encourage the use of constraints, puzzles, containers, etc. The more constrained, the better. It shifts our orientation to that material and keeps us safe(r) in the writing process. We an always take the material out of the "container" later if we choose to, but that constraint/container keeps the process lighter and, in my experience, produces better writing in the end. https://writinginthedark.substack.com/p/the-one-and-only-technique-that-finally?utm_source=publication-search
One was from a container in WITD and the other from our Week I which I used a length constraint (i think embedded by the 5 min silent write). Anyway! I think that the constraint & container are What allowed me to write them in the First place. As you say, safe(r). Grateful.
“ You can’t find your voice if you don’t use it”!!! Forget tattoos- I am going to paint a WPA style post office mural with all the letters of permission you send us every week and every day!! Can’t wait. Singing “ … send it off in a letter to yourself…”’in my head.
I’m psyched for this intensive. When I was young[er], I exchanged letters with long-distance lovers and friends that were so passionate and zealous and now accrue interest as they age. I think what you wrote here, about how adding a recipient adds personality to the voice, makes sense.
Yes, it makes sense to me, too, and others have also noted this facet of epistolary writing. I think it only works, though, if we conjure the recipient and really, truly activate the voice we would use with *that* recipient, so that will be the challenge and the fun!
Very excited about this! I have been thinking about my writer's voice a lot lately, and paying attention to feedback I get from my readers (more feedback, please!). In my mind, I want my writer’s voice to be like a fine bourbon: smooth, mellow, warm, complex, rich, and smoky, with a bit of an aftertaste that is unique to me. In my mind's ear, I hear my writer's voice as sounding like Canadian journalist Keith Morrison's voice on NBC's Dateline.
And what came to mind as you wrote "...fine bourbon: smooth, mellow, warm, complex, rich, and smoky..." was picturing the perfect voice for a late-night radio host.
"As the poet Paul Matthews puts it: The letter is a most powerful form… language becomes real when real people (even if imagined) are addressed." Oh my gosh, this slapped me in the face this morning while running after I read it. Amazing how the most profound things are right there in front of us and we miss them because we are not paying attention. I journaled on and off for years. Looking back over past entries the words bring back so much vividness because I was basically writing a letter to myself🤦🏾. Thank you for this, Jeannine.
I can't wait for this intensive!! I love letter writing, and have since I was a kid! My first best friend from kindergarten used to write each other letters every week when she moved away after the school year. We kept that tradition going up to 3rd or 4th grade I think. When I was in junior high I used to meet boys at the local waterpark and I'd ask for their addresses and we'd send each other letters throughout the summer, sometimes talk on the phone, but the letters were much more fun. Letter writing made me fall in love with people and the notes passed throughout my teenage years still live in a box in my closet!
I think it's also why I love Substack so much, I always feel like I'm writing a letter to friends :)
Did I mention I was super excited for this intensive? :) Xoxo
Really excited for this! Letters have a recurring presence in my essay I'm working on for the PAHS anthology. I think I'm getting pretty close on describing the thing itself in the hospital scenes, but so far I have been using a close approximation of letters I actually sent, and I need them to do a bit more work than they have been in the piece :)
I almost wrote you 8000 questions today, then decided to just try some stuff, which all made everything less clear :) But the letter about the wilderness fast has some good stuff about descent, under/otherworld
As a writer of letters, both sent and unsent, I am looking forward to tomorrow, to this intensive, to see how or if my voice has changed over the years. And love the quote - "You can't find your voice if you don't use it". So applicable to both written and spoken voice.
My dad was the ultimate letter writer. It wasn't uncommon for me to receive multiple letters from him in any given week. He's been gone for decades, but I still have a handful of those letters in which he shared snippets of himself. They are treasures.
"language becomes real when real people (even if imagined) are addressed." I agree with this, I think our true authentic voices come from writing as though talking to a best friend. When we talk to our closest friends we share our POV with ease, usually, without any influences of our internal critics. Our personalities shine through and we let our true voice shine.
I know when I feel like I'm talking in my authentic voice as it feels easy to say things, just flows and I feel light within.
But our voices change when we address someone else, like you say, we adjust the tone of our voice so not to upset the cart, maybe, when talking to an authoritative figure in our lives.
But I would say that's not our true authentic voice, as its restrictive and false and filtered to fit that specific person we talking to.
I think our voice is the result of all our life experiences less the ones that are less meaningful or irrelevant to us, and we form a specific "world view" which sticks with us plus our unique personality
Anyhoo, I'm truely looking forward to this intensive 🤓👍
We moved alot when I was a kid and Daddy was going about starting his medical career. Daddy would typically move ahead of us to the new place, while getting established, and we trailed behind him—sometimes by weeks—with the moving van with our belongings. He even moved to Germany (Army doctor) before Momma and two oldest sisters joined him. I got a random call from Mrs. Baker (2nd family i lived with - 11 and 12) many years after living with her, out of the blue.
"I found an old shoebox in the barn attic, there are some letters. What should I do with them?" She asked.
"Send them to me!!!!!!"
There are seven letters I now have, hand written between Momma and Daddy! One, in fact that was written from Daddy to me. They are amongst my most prized posessions.
Jeannine,
I thought about this upcoming intensive just yesterday when I found out that a religious sister I knew in my twenties--a woman who influenced my formation during my coming of age--is dying of pancreatic cancer. A mutual friend reached out to me via email to share the news, ending with, "If you want to send her a card, here's her address."
I instantly fished out a blank card from my stash and thought, "I can't just write a few sentences. This woman needs to know my heart. I want her to know how much she means to me before she dies."
So, the stakes are kinda high for me on this one.
But I faltered in beginning a letter. There's so much to say, but I don't want to overwhelm her. Then again, maybe she would welcome a long letter? I'm not sure where to begin. I have some flashes of memory from my early twenties when we were exchanging intimate conversations, dialogues that invigorated and challenged me. Many of her words propelled me not to give up on my life, myself, my dreams.
All that to say, I am eager to dive in tomorrow, but also tentative. It's becoming increasingly hard for me to write about the dark things, though I don't avoid it. It's just painful.
Jeannie, I am sorry to hear about your friend, and I wish you clarity in writing to her. You will say the right things. She will know your heart. As for the dark things, we need also to write light things, funny things, easy things, plain things. It can't and shouldn't always be dark! We have to have a range, and some balance, and some beauty, too. All the things. xo
That’s a good reminder. I do write about “all the things,” both light and dark. It’s just that certain repressed memories keep surfacing, and they come in flashes that I tend to journal about, but with great effort. I have a certain sense, because I am not a novice at writing, how to allow a story to unfold naturally—in seeds, in snippets, over time. It seems the dark things just keep coming to me more often these days, but maybe I do need to revisit writing about the ordinary moments again.
I am confident that you can trust your instincts, and listen to your heart, your body, and your intuition on how much to press, and how much to lean back, as these flashes come to you. There is no right answer, and the answer might differ day to day (as you know). But, no matter how you press or do not, the reprieve of the ordinary holds value and invitation. xo
I appreciate your wisdom and mentorship so much, Jeannine. Thank you kindly. I know you are right. I will listen to that intuition. It’s helpful to hear it from an objective party.
appreciate this response. I have now written 2 pieces that are linked and seem to be coming together as the middle of a larger story. unplanned and the zero waste effect. anyway, I have been a bit down lately/struggling and while not consciously carrying these pieces in day to day thought, I've wondered if the intensity and weight of this writing (dark) is coloring me. I had already thought that on the next exercise (SCHOOL or here), that I will NOT go there for awhile. to let things simmer and try something different. as you say, light, funny, plain. timely words for me. thank you.
Yes, to all this. Also, when writing dark material, I highly highly highly encourage the use of constraints, puzzles, containers, etc. The more constrained, the better. It shifts our orientation to that material and keeps us safe(r) in the writing process. We an always take the material out of the "container" later if we choose to, but that constraint/container keeps the process lighter and, in my experience, produces better writing in the end. https://writinginthedark.substack.com/p/the-one-and-only-technique-that-finally?utm_source=publication-search
One was from a container in WITD and the other from our Week I which I used a length constraint (i think embedded by the 5 min silent write). Anyway! I think that the constraint & container are What allowed me to write them in the First place. As you say, safe(r). Grateful.
“ You can’t find your voice if you don’t use it”!!! Forget tattoos- I am going to paint a WPA style post office mural with all the letters of permission you send us every week and every day!! Can’t wait. Singing “ … send it off in a letter to yourself…”’in my head.
I loved that one too. It's very WITD.
Honestly everything is WITD for me right now, which is a pretty fine blissed out existence. Just sayin’. 💜
🤗🤗🤗
I’m psyched for this intensive. When I was young[er], I exchanged letters with long-distance lovers and friends that were so passionate and zealous and now accrue interest as they age. I think what you wrote here, about how adding a recipient adds personality to the voice, makes sense.
Yes, it makes sense to me, too, and others have also noted this facet of epistolary writing. I think it only works, though, if we conjure the recipient and really, truly activate the voice we would use with *that* recipient, so that will be the challenge and the fun!
Very excited about this! I have been thinking about my writer's voice a lot lately, and paying attention to feedback I get from my readers (more feedback, please!). In my mind, I want my writer’s voice to be like a fine bourbon: smooth, mellow, warm, complex, rich, and smoky, with a bit of an aftertaste that is unique to me. In my mind's ear, I hear my writer's voice as sounding like Canadian journalist Keith Morrison's voice on NBC's Dateline.
And what came to mind as you wrote "...fine bourbon: smooth, mellow, warm, complex, rich, and smoky..." was picturing the perfect voice for a late-night radio host.
"As the poet Paul Matthews puts it: The letter is a most powerful form… language becomes real when real people (even if imagined) are addressed." Oh my gosh, this slapped me in the face this morning while running after I read it. Amazing how the most profound things are right there in front of us and we miss them because we are not paying attention. I journaled on and off for years. Looking back over past entries the words bring back so much vividness because I was basically writing a letter to myself🤦🏾. Thank you for this, Jeannine.
I can't wait for this intensive!! I love letter writing, and have since I was a kid! My first best friend from kindergarten used to write each other letters every week when she moved away after the school year. We kept that tradition going up to 3rd or 4th grade I think. When I was in junior high I used to meet boys at the local waterpark and I'd ask for their addresses and we'd send each other letters throughout the summer, sometimes talk on the phone, but the letters were much more fun. Letter writing made me fall in love with people and the notes passed throughout my teenage years still live in a box in my closet!
I think it's also why I love Substack so much, I always feel like I'm writing a letter to friends :)
Did I mention I was super excited for this intensive? :) Xoxo
Really excited for this! Letters have a recurring presence in my essay I'm working on for the PAHS anthology. I think I'm getting pretty close on describing the thing itself in the hospital scenes, but so far I have been using a close approximation of letters I actually sent, and I need them to do a bit more work than they have been in the piece :)
💜💜💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼
I almost wrote you 8000 questions today, then decided to just try some stuff, which all made everything less clear :) But the letter about the wilderness fast has some good stuff about descent, under/otherworld
Oh cool! I predict the intensive tomorrow will be the exact thing for what you are working on! I can’t wait see what develops!
As a writer of letters, both sent and unsent, I am looking forward to tomorrow, to this intensive, to see how or if my voice has changed over the years. And love the quote - "You can't find your voice if you don't use it". So applicable to both written and spoken voice.
My dad was the ultimate letter writer. It wasn't uncommon for me to receive multiple letters from him in any given week. He's been gone for decades, but I still have a handful of those letters in which he shared snippets of himself. They are treasures.
"language becomes real when real people (even if imagined) are addressed." I agree with this, I think our true authentic voices come from writing as though talking to a best friend. When we talk to our closest friends we share our POV with ease, usually, without any influences of our internal critics. Our personalities shine through and we let our true voice shine.
I know when I feel like I'm talking in my authentic voice as it feels easy to say things, just flows and I feel light within.
But our voices change when we address someone else, like you say, we adjust the tone of our voice so not to upset the cart, maybe, when talking to an authoritative figure in our lives.
But I would say that's not our true authentic voice, as its restrictive and false and filtered to fit that specific person we talking to.
I think our voice is the result of all our life experiences less the ones that are less meaningful or irrelevant to us, and we form a specific "world view" which sticks with us plus our unique personality
Anyhoo, I'm truely looking forward to this intensive 🤓👍
Just an aside, re letters—
We moved alot when I was a kid and Daddy was going about starting his medical career. Daddy would typically move ahead of us to the new place, while getting established, and we trailed behind him—sometimes by weeks—with the moving van with our belongings. He even moved to Germany (Army doctor) before Momma and two oldest sisters joined him. I got a random call from Mrs. Baker (2nd family i lived with - 11 and 12) many years after living with her, out of the blue.
"I found an old shoebox in the barn attic, there are some letters. What should I do with them?" She asked.
"Send them to me!!!!!!"
There are seven letters I now have, hand written between Momma and Daddy! One, in fact that was written from Daddy to me. They are amongst my most prized posessions.
I can't wait to get started! 🙌
I’ll be on the road the next two weeks and tuning in!
I think I will try this one as the need to write a letter to my child son is burning inside may need help though. Thanks