Jeannine, what a gorgeous list of shimmers alongside the great shard of uncertainty with Z’s future. As for writing, I believe your novel is composting in your subconscious--in the curing phase. Thinking of you, Billie and Z and sending big, loving hugs. Seeing all of you, as you see us. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Gulp. The closeups play like movies in my mind. Swallowing back tears, because reading your closeups conjure my closeups. It's all eating away at me right now. I stayed in bed yesterday. Today I'm back in the ring.
Jeannine--One of the ways I learned through therapy and meditation practice to deal with my depression (besides asking for help if needed) is to reach out to others in any small way I can. Even saying hi to a cashier at the supermarket or complimenting someone's dog on a walk counts if that's all I can do--hell, even if it's pulling teeth just to do those things. I'm dealing with my own depression and anxiety right now and except for a few lines, I haven't written much, and nothing on my assignment. But I had to take a moment to stop here and let you know that because you are always honest and gutsy enough to take us through your own pain, you have made me feel more connected. A bit better. A bit more alive. Just for this moment. If I could reach out though the keyboard and look you in the eye and tell you this and give you a hug if you wanted one, I would. This post is not carefully written as I usually try to make them, but I don't give a shit. I just wanted you to know that I am so sorry you are not in a great place right now, but you exude love. And I and many others are here to accept it and give a whole bunch right back to you. ❤️
Love and light to all of you. And thanks for being present with us even while allowing yourself to be flayed and slayed over and over again by pain, beauty, and even the freaking stubborn humor and irony that stands back, takes notes, and watches it all happen. As you have told us, and showed us over and over, writing is not just an act but also a state of mind and being-- an open channel for all lived experience. An inflamed raw nerve.
It is a generous and bountiful choice of how to love and proceed through the world, even when the world does not extend the same care concern, or beneficence. Thanks for living it out loud for us to see. I hope the community and body of work-- written, familial, and fostered connections --will sustain you all through this time. Z is watching, learning, absorbing what loving and living means. No matter what happens next, that will still be as real and true. And that does not make anything easier, just true. For me, sometimes true is a weird comfort because I am not looking away or in denial about what is happening, and somehow that feels like a weird victory.
Many big hugs to you. You taught us how to write and through with tears with that post.
All of it, Jeannine. We are lucky and hopeless and hopeful and gifted to feel all of it, aren't we? Who would we be if we didn't - or more likely, couldn't? Well, we wouldn't be us, would we? And we wouldn't be writers, that's for sure. Life is so short but also SOOO long; we can fix zags if we stay at it long enough, it does zig back. The lost do get found. But still, in the moment, it all feels and likely truly is precarious and you are doing EVERYTHING you can to make it less so.
I just wrote something through hurt/estrangement. "I'm a VooDoo Doll." Kind of a kinky voodoo song beat in the car before it went on paper. By the end, I believed I truly was just the doll. not me, a mom full of sharp, hard pins from someone who loves me/loves me not. Forgives me/forgives me never. Because of you, I can write VooDoo Doll and sleep.
PS - Girl, give yourself a break! No one will cry if you teach only one class of something. Don't always expand when your time can't. Stay healthy. Z and Billie and Jon and you - need you well. Make space for whatever is coming. You'll be glad you did.
This is piercingly beautiful, Jeannine. Devastating and heartbreaking. So I think you've done the work you set out to do; invite love and pain to underscore our humanity in the way we experience them together. Someday I hope to take a class with you, and in the meantime, I'm hoping for the best outcome for Z and your family.
♥️♥️♥️. I am doing my final read through on novel 2. My editor will upload and then it is over. I have waited for this moment filled with doubt and fear and also pure joy and gratitude. Now it’s here. Tears and joy. You are my guide so often. Thank you. My love and prayers of protection go out to you and your family and especially Z.
Nancy, what a momentous occasion this is for you. I can't wait to order your book. You inspire. And as for your love and prayers, I am deeply grateful. It means the world.
Thank you Jeannine for your honesty, and vulnerable heart. I feel for you, Z and Billie deeply and dearly. Testament is so achingly beautiful. Much love to you.
Jeannine, I've spent the week with my daughter in hospital and have had so many of these same thoughts through the worry. Thank you for articulating them so beautifully. I send you all much love and good wishes.
I appreciate that so much. Thank you, thank you. I have the tears behind my eyes all the time these days, so it takes very little to bring them out. Thank you.
Jeannine, what a gorgeous list of shimmers alongside the great shard of uncertainty with Z’s future. As for writing, I believe your novel is composting in your subconscious--in the curing phase. Thinking of you, Billie and Z and sending big, loving hugs. Seeing all of you, as you see us. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Thank you so so much 🙏
Gulp. The closeups play like movies in my mind. Swallowing back tears, because reading your closeups conjure my closeups. It's all eating away at me right now. I stayed in bed yesterday. Today I'm back in the ring.
Jeannine--One of the ways I learned through therapy and meditation practice to deal with my depression (besides asking for help if needed) is to reach out to others in any small way I can. Even saying hi to a cashier at the supermarket or complimenting someone's dog on a walk counts if that's all I can do--hell, even if it's pulling teeth just to do those things. I'm dealing with my own depression and anxiety right now and except for a few lines, I haven't written much, and nothing on my assignment. But I had to take a moment to stop here and let you know that because you are always honest and gutsy enough to take us through your own pain, you have made me feel more connected. A bit better. A bit more alive. Just for this moment. If I could reach out though the keyboard and look you in the eye and tell you this and give you a hug if you wanted one, I would. This post is not carefully written as I usually try to make them, but I don't give a shit. I just wanted you to know that I am so sorry you are not in a great place right now, but you exude love. And I and many others are here to accept it and give a whole bunch right back to you. ❤️
This was written like a perfectly written. Every word, a tiny sculpture. I am so grateful. Roberta, thank you so so much.
What she said.💜
Love and light to all of you. And thanks for being present with us even while allowing yourself to be flayed and slayed over and over again by pain, beauty, and even the freaking stubborn humor and irony that stands back, takes notes, and watches it all happen. As you have told us, and showed us over and over, writing is not just an act but also a state of mind and being-- an open channel for all lived experience. An inflamed raw nerve.
It is a generous and bountiful choice of how to love and proceed through the world, even when the world does not extend the same care concern, or beneficence. Thanks for living it out loud for us to see. I hope the community and body of work-- written, familial, and fostered connections --will sustain you all through this time. Z is watching, learning, absorbing what loving and living means. No matter what happens next, that will still be as real and true. And that does not make anything easier, just true. For me, sometimes true is a weird comfort because I am not looking away or in denial about what is happening, and somehow that feels like a weird victory.
Many big hugs to you. You taught us how to write and through with tears with that post.
Xoxo, Emily
This is so beautiful. Thank you, Emily!
Achingly beautiful writing. Sending love to you and your family.
All of it, Jeannine. We are lucky and hopeless and hopeful and gifted to feel all of it, aren't we? Who would we be if we didn't - or more likely, couldn't? Well, we wouldn't be us, would we? And we wouldn't be writers, that's for sure. Life is so short but also SOOO long; we can fix zags if we stay at it long enough, it does zig back. The lost do get found. But still, in the moment, it all feels and likely truly is precarious and you are doing EVERYTHING you can to make it less so.
I just wrote something through hurt/estrangement. "I'm a VooDoo Doll." Kind of a kinky voodoo song beat in the car before it went on paper. By the end, I believed I truly was just the doll. not me, a mom full of sharp, hard pins from someone who loves me/loves me not. Forgives me/forgives me never. Because of you, I can write VooDoo Doll and sleep.
PS - Girl, give yourself a break! No one will cry if you teach only one class of something. Don't always expand when your time can't. Stay healthy. Z and Billie and Jon and you - need you well. Make space for whatever is coming. You'll be glad you did.
Peace to you.
Thank you, Joanne--I am so glad you could write VooDoo Doll and sleep. xoxo
This is piercingly beautiful, Jeannine. Devastating and heartbreaking. So I think you've done the work you set out to do; invite love and pain to underscore our humanity in the way we experience them together. Someday I hope to take a class with you, and in the meantime, I'm hoping for the best outcome for Z and your family.
Thank you so much, Priscilla. And I would love to have you in a class sometime!
♥️♥️♥️. I am doing my final read through on novel 2. My editor will upload and then it is over. I have waited for this moment filled with doubt and fear and also pure joy and gratitude. Now it’s here. Tears and joy. You are my guide so often. Thank you. My love and prayers of protection go out to you and your family and especially Z.
Nancy, what a momentous occasion this is for you. I can't wait to order your book. You inspire. And as for your love and prayers, I am deeply grateful. It means the world.
Thank you Jeannine. I’m so sorry. You seem indeed to be ‘almost entirely love’. I hope something beautiful and kind happens for you all soon....
This is so kind. Thank you!!
Thank you Jeannine for your honesty, and vulnerable heart. I feel for you, Z and Billie deeply and dearly. Testament is so achingly beautiful. Much love to you.
Thank you, this is so dearly appreciated.
Extraordinarily beautiful.
Thank you, friend.
Jeannine, I've spent the week with my daughter in hospital and have had so many of these same thoughts through the worry. Thank you for articulating them so beautifully. I send you all much love and good wishes.
Sending good healing thoughts and love to your daughter! Thank you for yours, Susan. We appreciate it so much.
So beautiful, Jeannine. Thinking of you, Z, and Billie.
I appreciate that so much. Thank you, thank you. I have the tears behind my eyes all the time these days, so it takes very little to bring them out. Thank you.
Thank you 💗
Thank you for reading--and caring.
Thank you for this, truly.
Honestly, thank you so much for being here.
no words.......just thank you. And the beaver story.....hope for the world.
Yes isn’t that just the tenderest story? ❤️