Day process. Your writing on mentorship is brilliant. I’ve been on both ends of this and I believe writing is one of the areas in life most suited for mentorship. It’s such a gift. Thank you for creating this space, Jeaninne.
So excited to do the 40-day writing intensive on Melody Beattie's book--and I loved thinking about various mentorships and mentors I have had.
My first writing mentor was my ninth-grade English teacher, a small, rather odd guy named Mr. Sushak. He wasn't all that friendly, and he didn't exude real enthusiasm about his job (as I recall), but I could always tell he liked my writing and took me seriously. He had thick glasses and what I used to think of as a caterpillar mustache. One specific writing assignment from class was a satirical essay I wrote about various people at school (the situations were fictional and but the characters were based on real people, depicted as children with old-fashioned, made-up names like Edna, Horatio, Zelda, etc.). The essay morphed into a full-blown written and illustrated chapter book that I worked on all year with the help of my best friend (we were the main characters, but we continually added more characters and fictional events) and shared widely with friends, many of whom vied to be added as characters themselves. Looking back at it now, this was an early graphic novel, and of course, it was quite silly--though it did have a bite, and it did help to deal with some of the power dynamics of junior high school. I must have told Mr. Sushak about how my essay from class ending up becoming a "book" (outside of class), because he wrote in my yearbook that year: "I hope you write another book one day." I knew he knew I was serious about wanting to be a "real" writer, and this comment made me think I really might be able to do it. His regard for my writing meant the world to me then, and it has stayed with me all of these years.
I have now read every word of The Lantern and The Latch and found myself feeling blessed for all the mentors I have had who have held the lantern in exactly these ways so I could unlatch the door of my own singular vision and voice. This is going to be printed and kept close by my desk & shared with every writer I know. And it has pushed me to stop feeling daunted by a recent generous act of mentorship because I allowed fear and doubt (can I be the writer she sees & believes in?) to pull me away from the work. Instead Jeannine you have helped me see that mentors are only ever issuing an invitation. It is up to us if we accept it or not.
Jeannine. I cannot (yet) express how deeply this post impacted me. I'll just say: Reverb. Echoes down to the toes of my soul. I'm including a link to your post in my next post. Also, I'm in for the miracle game. Thanks for the mentorship.
This terribly flawed woman I loved became my mentor, my surrogate mother when my own moved across the country when I was 17 and let me stay behind in our apartment to finish high school. This mentor took me out shopping and changed my looks, encouraged me to chop off 18 inches of hair and leave that ragamuffin vagabond girl behind. I cried, but she was right. My hair has been short ever since. But then started she going my old way, going out with men, cheating on her husband, taking LSD, but still, I loved her and admired her wanting to know what she'd missed since she'd married at age 17 and started having babies. She taught me to wash my hands after using the bathroom because my mother never had; she taught me how to scrub a bathtub and fold laundry and change sheets because I never had before. And she took me back without a word after I left her for seven years, needing to find my own path, my own voice. I sobbed in her arms when she told me she was dying of cancer and said thank you afterward, thank you for my grief and tears because no one else believed her. She had the bluest eyes, the softest lips. She was my first mentor.
I love anything counterintuitive because it gets me out of my head. I’d love to try the book idea. As far as mentoring—I’ve been told that AWP members can take part in a mentor match up but I couldn’t find anything on their website. Anyone have any info on the AWP program?
With trepidation, I just ordered this book, and I'm setting my intention to join you. The whole idea of finding gratitude in everything sends me in a trauma loop. I can be grateful for some things I became—independent, resourceful, self-reliant—but i will never be grateful for my parents deaths.
I downloaded a sample of the book and read this: "The practice I began the next day is profound in its simplicity and transformational power. I learned how much I consciously and unconsciously resist any negative emotions within moments after waking up, and how my newfound willingness to be present for these emotions liberates me."
I'm curious to work through my resistance to gratitude in this oh so safe community.
I just want to say, Trish, that in my company, you will never, ever be asked to be grateful for something you cannot be grateful for, nor will you be asked to push yourself beyond what is safe for you. We will tread with respect and grace. I am so so so glad you are here.
Jeaninne, YES, count me in on the challenging "I am thankful for" 40 day. I have access to the book and it's intriguing to consider how an intentional focus of a group might shift things for us and for the collective. Uranus enters Gemini today, so.....anything goes. We shall expect the unexpected, as the saying goes!
Your little snippets (incidentally, the cursive WITD separating the phrases—I thought spelled out witch lol) are filled with tender inspiration. I love the idea of a mentor. I’ve had a few writing coaches and editors, but none gave me the kinds of feelings and vibe you describe. It’s the kind of thing that has made me want to just do it on my own, that is, until I finally decided to join WITD.
Maureen, I am so incredibly glad you are here. Also, haha to the "witch." I am pretty witchy, so I kind of like it. And, again, I am just so glad you are here.
Yes, it would be a great idea to join you on a gratitude intensive. I feel it would be an uplifting experience that can direct us to take a more positive path, no matter what we are feeling. In lifting ourselves up, we are also lifting others around us who may continue that spirit of gratitude with those whose lives they touch. 🙏🏼
Jeannine, I think it would a great idea for you to guide us through the book and do a forty day intensive to work through the subversive gratitude practice ...especially in these times of whats happening in the world.
I think it would be a practice that help us to navigate our worries, anxieties and dark thoughts into a positive vibe. This would uplift us and help us to live with gratitude because it would highlight that (maybe) our discomfort is minimal compared to what others in the world are suffering, and help us be the best version of ourselves in positivity... because we cannot help others if we are not grounded and positive in our worlds.
We are energetic beings and having a positive vibe is not only healing to us but reflects on to others and cascades around, uplifting and supporting them to also have a positive outlook. We cannot save the world, but we can do our bit in our little worlds... and this has a big effect.
---
I love the idea of mentoring as you describe it
This paragraph describes what does happen when you receive the right mentorship. The body always remembers, no matter what kind of experience you have.
"You don’t know it at the time, but the first time someone reads your work like it matters, your body records it. Your lungs will remember. Your throat, your skin. Someone said: I see you trying. And suddenly, trying becomes sacred."
For an example, When I received a comment from you in one of our intensives complementing my writing, i felt wonderful inside and ignited a fire inside of me to keep going... I remember the feeling in my body well, it was a feeling of warmth and joy, and made me feel seen and heard.
Jane, I love your writing, and what you have said here makes me wish that I could always comment on every snippet from every writer. I know I don't hit that mark--I think I get to maybe 40-70 percent depending on the week, but I really try to comment on as many as I can. It means something to me to do that, and I always tell the truth. I never offer false praise. I name what moves me, fragments of language that startle me awake, etc. So, I think it might have been something you wrote about your father, and I know it was a very striking snippet. I might be misremembering the topic, but I don't think I am?
Yes you are right, Jeannine, it was the snippet about my father.
I can't imagine you having the time to comment on everyones writing as you have a lot of members. I can tell you only tell the truth and I would not wish for false praise, what's the point? so when we do get a comment from you, its special😊🤗🥰
As others have written, this essay moved me. I've not taken courses in writing and found mentorship in the poets I read, and in lyrical writers of novels such as Ocean Vuong, Toni Morrison, Elif Shafak to name a few modern writers. I carry on long conversations in my head with writers I am learning from – this happened with the Jane Kenyon poem.
For a number of year I have been a mentor to people who are interested in going deeper in their practice of supporting change. I have always viewed this as a privilege, one that I get so much from. Never a one way conversation, rather one that moves by curiosity and questions. And still the essay helped me see that in my looking for a mentor I've been looking for someone to give advice. And that is part of it; yet more important are the questions being asked that help you dig into what you are attempting to do. I have felt since I joined WITD, that this has been a space where I'm feeling mentored by other writers, and by you Jeannine.
I am interested in the collective journey you propose.
Ray, you've been such an incredible member of this community--your generous observations are so appreciated. Not just observations of what we're close reading, or of others' work, but also observations of creativity and life in general. Really glad you are here. Also, you just listed two of my favorite writers--and I know I need to get to know Elif Shafak's work!
Jeannine, thanks for your feedback, with specifics of what you appreciate. You have created such a generous space to reflect, to write and to go deep into where I feel vulnerable – and find the polished gems there. It's also true that all in WITD are co-creators; and you hold the space, reflect on your writing and your thoughts-feelings. A loving space to practice and learn.
Elif Shafak's "40 Rules of Love" is about Rumi and Shem, their relationship, and Rumi's struggles.
I forgot to add another author, Anne Michaels whose lyrical prose, what she tells stories about and her way of telling stories has given me lots to think about - Her most well known book is Fugitive Pieces (you may have come across this book) and her other novels (she's also a poet) are equally lyrical and fascinating. Her recent novel is "Held" I've read it twice and will likely read it again. Same as I did with Fugitive Pieces.
To ask questions, to invite a reflection. I see this advice too in your writing workshop guidelines. Thanks for this, and for this space to be both apprentice and possibly mentor.
Yes! Oh, I am so glad you said this--I see it every day here, writers mentoring each other with wisdom, grace, generosity, curiosity, and astuteness. It's really wonderful.
I would love to participate in the 40
Day process. Your writing on mentorship is brilliant. I’ve been on both ends of this and I believe writing is one of the areas in life most suited for mentorship. It’s such a gift. Thank you for creating this space, Jeaninne.
Count me in for the Melody Beattie book
So excited to do the 40-day writing intensive on Melody Beattie's book--and I loved thinking about various mentorships and mentors I have had.
My first writing mentor was my ninth-grade English teacher, a small, rather odd guy named Mr. Sushak. He wasn't all that friendly, and he didn't exude real enthusiasm about his job (as I recall), but I could always tell he liked my writing and took me seriously. He had thick glasses and what I used to think of as a caterpillar mustache. One specific writing assignment from class was a satirical essay I wrote about various people at school (the situations were fictional and but the characters were based on real people, depicted as children with old-fashioned, made-up names like Edna, Horatio, Zelda, etc.). The essay morphed into a full-blown written and illustrated chapter book that I worked on all year with the help of my best friend (we were the main characters, but we continually added more characters and fictional events) and shared widely with friends, many of whom vied to be added as characters themselves. Looking back at it now, this was an early graphic novel, and of course, it was quite silly--though it did have a bite, and it did help to deal with some of the power dynamics of junior high school. I must have told Mr. Sushak about how my essay from class ending up becoming a "book" (outside of class), because he wrote in my yearbook that year: "I hope you write another book one day." I knew he knew I was serious about wanting to be a "real" writer, and this comment made me think I really might be able to do it. His regard for my writing meant the world to me then, and it has stayed with me all of these years.
I have now read every word of The Lantern and The Latch and found myself feeling blessed for all the mentors I have had who have held the lantern in exactly these ways so I could unlatch the door of my own singular vision and voice. This is going to be printed and kept close by my desk & shared with every writer I know. And it has pushed me to stop feeling daunted by a recent generous act of mentorship because I allowed fear and doubt (can I be the writer she sees & believes in?) to pull me away from the work. Instead Jeannine you have helped me see that mentors are only ever issuing an invitation. It is up to us if we accept it or not.
Jeannine. I cannot (yet) express how deeply this post impacted me. I'll just say: Reverb. Echoes down to the toes of my soul. I'm including a link to your post in my next post. Also, I'm in for the miracle game. Thanks for the mentorship.
Amy, thank you thank you thank you!
Lovely article on mentorship. Gives me much to ponder. I’m in for the 49 days. When does it start?
Thank you, Toni! I’ll give more details on the 40 days soon. It will start this summer for sure.
I mean 40
I am famous for my typos, and am a great translator ;)
I very much would love to do an intensive with Melodie’s book. I love her work and it has helped me greatly in life.
I’m so glad, Mary!! I’m excited to do this.
40 DAYS: I'm in!
MENTORS:
This terribly flawed woman I loved became my mentor, my surrogate mother when my own moved across the country when I was 17 and let me stay behind in our apartment to finish high school. This mentor took me out shopping and changed my looks, encouraged me to chop off 18 inches of hair and leave that ragamuffin vagabond girl behind. I cried, but she was right. My hair has been short ever since. But then started she going my old way, going out with men, cheating on her husband, taking LSD, but still, I loved her and admired her wanting to know what she'd missed since she'd married at age 17 and started having babies. She taught me to wash my hands after using the bathroom because my mother never had; she taught me how to scrub a bathtub and fold laundry and change sheets because I never had before. And she took me back without a word after I left her for seven years, needing to find my own path, my own voice. I sobbed in her arms when she told me she was dying of cancer and said thank you afterward, thank you for my grief and tears because no one else believed her. She had the bluest eyes, the softest lips. She was my first mentor.
Oh, Polly. This is literature, what you have written here. Beautiful, and love-filled, truth-filled, hard, and lovely. Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you, Jeanne. Your prompts bring out tender parts.
Oh, Polly!
I love anything counterintuitive because it gets me out of my head. I’d love to try the book idea. As far as mentoring—I’ve been told that AWP members can take part in a mentor match up but I couldn’t find anything on their website. Anyone have any info on the AWP program?
Trish, I was a mentor for the AWP Writer to Writer program for several years! It's a great program. Here's a link to find more info: https://awpwriter.org/AWP/AWP/Writers-Connect/Writer-to-Writer-Mentorship-Program/Overview.aspx
With trepidation, I just ordered this book, and I'm setting my intention to join you. The whole idea of finding gratitude in everything sends me in a trauma loop. I can be grateful for some things I became—independent, resourceful, self-reliant—but i will never be grateful for my parents deaths.
I downloaded a sample of the book and read this: "The practice I began the next day is profound in its simplicity and transformational power. I learned how much I consciously and unconsciously resist any negative emotions within moments after waking up, and how my newfound willingness to be present for these emotions liberates me."
I'm curious to work through my resistance to gratitude in this oh so safe community.
I just want to say, Trish, that in my company, you will never, ever be asked to be grateful for something you cannot be grateful for, nor will you be asked to push yourself beyond what is safe for you. We will tread with respect and grace. I am so so so glad you are here.
Jeaninne, YES, count me in on the challenging "I am thankful for" 40 day. I have access to the book and it's intriguing to consider how an intentional focus of a group might shift things for us and for the collective. Uranus enters Gemini today, so.....anything goes. We shall expect the unexpected, as the saying goes!
I love this! Thank you for your trust and willingness to walk together!
Your little snippets (incidentally, the cursive WITD separating the phrases—I thought spelled out witch lol) are filled with tender inspiration. I love the idea of a mentor. I’ve had a few writing coaches and editors, but none gave me the kinds of feelings and vibe you describe. It’s the kind of thing that has made me want to just do it on my own, that is, until I finally decided to join WITD.
Maureen, I am so incredibly glad you are here. Also, haha to the "witch." I am pretty witchy, so I kind of like it. And, again, I am just so glad you are here.
Witchy hehehe 😉
Yes, it would be a great idea to join you on a gratitude intensive. I feel it would be an uplifting experience that can direct us to take a more positive path, no matter what we are feeling. In lifting ourselves up, we are also lifting others around us who may continue that spirit of gratitude with those whose lives they touch. 🙏🏼
Lovely, Denise. Thank you!
Jeannine, I think it would a great idea for you to guide us through the book and do a forty day intensive to work through the subversive gratitude practice ...especially in these times of whats happening in the world.
I think it would be a practice that help us to navigate our worries, anxieties and dark thoughts into a positive vibe. This would uplift us and help us to live with gratitude because it would highlight that (maybe) our discomfort is minimal compared to what others in the world are suffering, and help us be the best version of ourselves in positivity... because we cannot help others if we are not grounded and positive in our worlds.
We are energetic beings and having a positive vibe is not only healing to us but reflects on to others and cascades around, uplifting and supporting them to also have a positive outlook. We cannot save the world, but we can do our bit in our little worlds... and this has a big effect.
---
I love the idea of mentoring as you describe it
This paragraph describes what does happen when you receive the right mentorship. The body always remembers, no matter what kind of experience you have.
"You don’t know it at the time, but the first time someone reads your work like it matters, your body records it. Your lungs will remember. Your throat, your skin. Someone said: I see you trying. And suddenly, trying becomes sacred."
For an example, When I received a comment from you in one of our intensives complementing my writing, i felt wonderful inside and ignited a fire inside of me to keep going... I remember the feeling in my body well, it was a feeling of warmth and joy, and made me feel seen and heard.
Jane, I love your writing, and what you have said here makes me wish that I could always comment on every snippet from every writer. I know I don't hit that mark--I think I get to maybe 40-70 percent depending on the week, but I really try to comment on as many as I can. It means something to me to do that, and I always tell the truth. I never offer false praise. I name what moves me, fragments of language that startle me awake, etc. So, I think it might have been something you wrote about your father, and I know it was a very striking snippet. I might be misremembering the topic, but I don't think I am?
Yes you are right, Jeannine, it was the snippet about my father.
I can't imagine you having the time to comment on everyones writing as you have a lot of members. I can tell you only tell the truth and I would not wish for false praise, what's the point? so when we do get a comment from you, its special😊🤗🥰
As others have written, this essay moved me. I've not taken courses in writing and found mentorship in the poets I read, and in lyrical writers of novels such as Ocean Vuong, Toni Morrison, Elif Shafak to name a few modern writers. I carry on long conversations in my head with writers I am learning from – this happened with the Jane Kenyon poem.
For a number of year I have been a mentor to people who are interested in going deeper in their practice of supporting change. I have always viewed this as a privilege, one that I get so much from. Never a one way conversation, rather one that moves by curiosity and questions. And still the essay helped me see that in my looking for a mentor I've been looking for someone to give advice. And that is part of it; yet more important are the questions being asked that help you dig into what you are attempting to do. I have felt since I joined WITD, that this has been a space where I'm feeling mentored by other writers, and by you Jeannine.
I am interested in the collective journey you propose.
Ray, you've been such an incredible member of this community--your generous observations are so appreciated. Not just observations of what we're close reading, or of others' work, but also observations of creativity and life in general. Really glad you are here. Also, you just listed two of my favorite writers--and I know I need to get to know Elif Shafak's work!
Jeannine, thanks for your feedback, with specifics of what you appreciate. You have created such a generous space to reflect, to write and to go deep into where I feel vulnerable – and find the polished gems there. It's also true that all in WITD are co-creators; and you hold the space, reflect on your writing and your thoughts-feelings. A loving space to practice and learn.
Elif Shafak's "40 Rules of Love" is about Rumi and Shem, their relationship, and Rumi's struggles.
I forgot to add another author, Anne Michaels whose lyrical prose, what she tells stories about and her way of telling stories has given me lots to think about - Her most well known book is Fugitive Pieces (you may have come across this book) and her other novels (she's also a poet) are equally lyrical and fascinating. Her recent novel is "Held" I've read it twice and will likely read it again. Same as I did with Fugitive Pieces.
To ask questions, to invite a reflection. I see this advice too in your writing workshop guidelines. Thanks for this, and for this space to be both apprentice and possibly mentor.
Yes! Oh, I am so glad you said this--I see it every day here, writers mentoring each other with wisdom, grace, generosity, curiosity, and astuteness. It's really wonderful.