...and neither are our experiences, even past ones. Becoming is a way of living, an evolving state, transformative and circular—we're always moving through the revolving doorways of our lives.
Jeannine, such a wonderful interview. Trauma and the effects of trauma are different for everyone but I love this truth that you bring out, "She is trying to hold and integrate multiple truths at once: the pain and trauma that live within her, but also the power and love within her..." Probably the greatest truth that I learned in therapy is that it is ok to hold multiple truths. How we feel about the truth does not make it any more false or true, it is what it is. I held a lot of guilt and shame for a lot of years because how I tried to reconcile my feelings was based on a moral stance I held even as a child, not the fact that having mixed or multiple feelings about a situation is not predicated upon the guilt or shame I heaped upon myself for going against that moral stance. It took a long time to let it sink in that feelings are feelings, not my perceived right or wrongs. "When I teach in prison settings, I’m acutely aware that we’re all on a continuum not just in terms of what kinds of trauma we’ve experienced, but also what kinds of tools we’ve had access to for processing trauma." So, so thankful for a caring, competent therapist, as well as empathetic and wise mentors. Thankful for this, Jeannine.
What a phenomenal interview! Thanks for sharing. The images of the pumphouse were striking. Sending wishes for lots of healing for you and yours this weekend. xo
Thank you for sharing the photos of the Pumphouse Jeannine.. Yes, it looks perfect. Those two photos elicit much. Go well and be kind with yourselves.
Also, reflecting on your words:
"I read once that survivors of childhood sexual abuse often develop a very precise use of language, a kind of hyper-vigilance around their verbal expression. I wish I could find my source for this, and if I do find it, I will let you know. But I know read this—I spent my twenties and thirties devouring researched texts about sexual abuse and recovery—and it absolutely rings true for me.
I can almost see sentences forming in my mind before I speak them, and I can rearrange the words even as they’re forming on my tongue. I also have an extremely accurate memory for dialogue. It’s exhausting sometimes, but it’s also a huge part of what makes me a writer."
...makes me consider the way this plays out (and I believe it does) in the experience of trauma and abuse in pre-verbal development.
I've never seen an explanation of your memoir's title, and I loved it reading it here! I had kind of intuited though. I'll be thinking of you this weekend. The pump house looks amazing.
Jeannine your writing and this interview are awesome as is your teaching in WITD. I pray for 1/10th of your energy and insight. Reading this this morning is time well spent.
Watch how you glow! This is so beautiful— it truly captures so much of you and your work- what an expansive and generous interview! I love the pump house both in storm and at peace. Knowing you are approaching that touch point this week has me holding you all even more closely in my heart and thoughts. So damn grateful for you and this incredible portal.
Jeannine, such a wonderful interview. Trauma and the effects of trauma are different for everyone but I love this truth that you bring out, "She is trying to hold and integrate multiple truths at once: the pain and trauma that live within her, but also the power and love within her..." Probably the greatest truth that I learned in therapy is that it is ok to hold multiple truths. How we feel about the truth does not make it any more false or true, it is what it is. I held a lot of guilt and shame for a lot of years because how I tried to reconcile my feelings was based on a moral stance I held even as a child, not the fact that having mixed or multiple feelings about a situation is not predicated upon the guilt or shame I heaped upon myself for going against that moral stance. It took a long time to let it sink in that feelings are feelings, not my perceived right or wrongs. "When I teach in prison settings, I’m acutely aware that we’re all on a continuum not just in terms of what kinds of trauma we’ve experienced, but also what kinds of tools we’ve had access to for processing trauma." So, so thankful for a caring, competent therapist, as well as empathetic and wise mentors. Thankful for this, Jeannine.
Wise, wise, reflections, Steve. Thank you.
What a phenomenal interview! Thanks for sharing. The images of the pumphouse were striking. Sending wishes for lots of healing for you and yours this weekend. xo
Thank you, Sarah. And your wishes are much appreciated!
Great interview. Very insightful.
Beautiful interview Jeannine. Wishing you an equally beautiful memorial this weekend. <3
Thank you. Grateful for those wishes.
Thank you for sharing the photos of the Pumphouse Jeannine.. Yes, it looks perfect. Those two photos elicit much. Go well and be kind with yourselves.
Also, reflecting on your words:
"I read once that survivors of childhood sexual abuse often develop a very precise use of language, a kind of hyper-vigilance around their verbal expression. I wish I could find my source for this, and if I do find it, I will let you know. But I know read this—I spent my twenties and thirties devouring researched texts about sexual abuse and recovery—and it absolutely rings true for me.
I can almost see sentences forming in my mind before I speak them, and I can rearrange the words even as they’re forming on my tongue. I also have an extremely accurate memory for dialogue. It’s exhausting sometimes, but it’s also a huge part of what makes me a writer."
...makes me consider the way this plays out (and I believe it does) in the experience of trauma and abuse in pre-verbal development.
Melanie, yes, that's a crucial question. I hope people are doing research on it!
I've never seen an explanation of your memoir's title, and I loved it reading it here! I had kind of intuited though. I'll be thinking of you this weekend. The pump house looks amazing.
Thank you so much, Peg. I appreciate this a lot.
Jeannine your writing and this interview are awesome as is your teaching in WITD. I pray for 1/10th of your energy and insight. Reading this this morning is time well spent.
Kathleen, thank you so much. As for energy, I literally just woke from a hard "crash nap!"
Watch how you glow! This is so beautiful— it truly captures so much of you and your work- what an expansive and generous interview! I love the pump house both in storm and at peace. Knowing you are approaching that touch point this week has me holding you all even more closely in my heart and thoughts. So damn grateful for you and this incredible portal.
Thank you so much, Emily. I am grateful, too. Very, very.
This makes me want to read your memoir all the more, Jeannine!
Yay, thanks, Jeannie ❤️