I fully expected to be unimpressed with your response simply bc we read this kind of question and someone's rote (though trying!) response regularly, right? It's a common struggle for writers.
But you have written something that feels fresh and inspiring. I'm especially grateful for your mentioning that feeling at the completion of a piece when it is as good as you can get it - but you wanted more/better/the BEST. Of COURSE that could block us!
Such wisdom and generosity, Jeannine (as if I expected anything else)! I have wish I’d read this so many years ago. I remember being *exactly* where the writer is and nobody had any advice that was doable or that didn’t make me feel worse.
You have spoken to my soul with this piece and I feel a great release. I too felt like I could take the external rejection but something else was there. It was the rejection of myself that was stopping me. Thank you so much for this exposition.
I felt this like a bucket of water to my soul. So many of my struggles with my creativity, my 'talents' have been caught in the tangled need to be extraordinary when the other, more compassionate, patient, easily awed part of me, has longed to simply allow myself to be, as Hafiz so eloquently says, 'silently drawn by the strange pull of what I (you) really love...". I think perhaps we fear being ordinary because we equate it with living an unfulfilled life but perhaps it is in the letting go of the need to be extraordinary that we fall into the deeper, quieter magic of a 'real' life.
Gosh~YES “letting go of the need to be extraordinary…fall(ing) into the deeper, quieter magic of a ‘real’ life. As they say about truth & how it fits uniquely in our ears, this feels resonate to my very being~a deep, quiet, magic filled, but very Real life. It captures my want of being awake & alive to the every day moments of my life, to noticing them, deeply noticing them, to being open to magic without the need for fanfare, or big drama. And this Hafiz quote~I haven’t read it or heard it in a long time~it is♥️. Here’s to allowing ourselves to respond to the strange pulls of what we really love while they are right here in front of us!
So lovely to read your comment, Colleen and to recognise a kindred in your words. It's that quiet magic that really pulls at me and clearly at you too. May we both heed that pull and that deeper love that stirs us.
This is beautiful, Kat, and it feels like such a luminous reflection of what I am trying to say. Thank you so much. Your words lift me up this morning.
Jeannine - what you have written here is GOLD! "We change. We become a far realer and more alive version of ourselves as we heal the division in our consciousness that has kept us from our creative work in the first place. We become fully human as we make peace with the inevitable disappointment of the creative process, while celebrating its inherent joys. We become stronger as we endure that disappointment, along with the pain of rejection, criticism, and dismissal, all of which are real. But we also become braver, softer, and more resilient as we continue making work, engaging with the creative unknown, taking risks, and exposing our tenderest underbellies."
Every word of Jeannine’s piece here was a liberation, feels like itself a “call to creative work,” but what you have called out specifically about becoming …”braver, softer, and more resilient as we continue making work, engaging with the creative unknown, taking risks, and exposing our tenderest underbellies” was Such a Truth for me. More and more, the act of creating itself is its own reward and its own reinforcer for me. The more I write, simply dare to create a thing, whatever it becomes or not, the more I feel I am living the life of a writer, living in the space of wonder, discovery, possibility…
Thank YOU for taking the time to share here, for helping me know my ordinary words matter, and for being such a beautiful member of this community. I am grateful.
After you mentioned reading 'Wingless Bodies' at AWP, I reread it last night....I love the swirl of different threads through the piece. Could you sometime share with us how that piece came together? I just love it!
Oh how lovely to hear this. Yes, I would love to share that story. Perhaps in a soon upcoming Lit Salon. If you want to hear the version where my friend Susan played violin, you can listen here: https://www.upthestaircase.org/jeannine-ouellette.html
I simply offer “Stuck” this - write about how it feels to be stuck. Brutally honest. Hold nothing back. Let it come up in you with all that is behind it. And do not even think about publishing it while you write. Maybe even tell yourself that “this one is just for me”. I’m willing to wager this will knock some things loose inside you.
I'm pretty sure you were a kick-ass therapist in your previous life because that's what this essay is - therapy that heals. You knocked it out of the park with this one, hitting us in all the feelings in the best possible way, calling us to show up fully in the best possible way while asking us to be gentle on ourselves in the best possible way.
Possibly my favorite WITD post yet, one to tag and re-read many times. Today, I'm clutching this passage in particular: "That’s the paradox: to claim the right to be creative, to make work and send it out (whether to be rejected or accepted, both are scary), and to make visible to the whole entire world your “call to creative work,” which is usually kept hidden in a very tender and vulnerable spot deep in the recesses of your heart, is revolutionary and, therefore, extraordinary, no matter what that work ultimately becomes or does not become in terms of its so-called importance." xo
Let me just say, I love the way the questioner wrote the letter to Jeannine, because it’s relatable, and vulnerable. What I noticed about writing for me, even though I’ve only had one thing published, is that it’s made me a better reader. And also only recently do I realize what I really like to read. For instance, I really like reading this Substack. I like reading George Saunders Substack, I like reading writers who seem authentic. So maybe we should just focus on that! Of course I think Writing In The Dark is brilliant, but you’re right it doesn’t have to be brilliant! And it does put undue pressure on us when we are expected to be brilliant, or expect our work to be spectacular or “best selling” or whatever. The beauty of these past decades, writing about things, has given me a great gift, realizing what I really like to read, and that it’s ok that other people may not like to read what I prefer. Radical preference.
“. . . making a perfectly ordinary life of words.”
This came to me just at the right (write) time! That’s me. I want a perfectly ordinary life of words but wondered how to do that and be of service. Maybe I start with being of service to and honoring my own creativity first. Thank you! 💕🏄🏻♀️
I love this message. I think so many fields (even outside of the creative space) give us the message that "everybody and their mother wants to do it, so why even try?" The reminder that there is space for all of us is to pursue our individual creative drives is so valuable, thank you!
Exactly. We live in an American Idol culture. As in, "who do you think you are, trying to create something?" It's up to us to reject that and reclaim our birthright. xo
I have always wanted to write a book, be a published author. I am an avid reader and admire the work of so many writers. As you have said before in different ways, Jeannine, it's OK to start from where you are and what you know. There is room for all of us to live a creative life. I hereby accept being ordinary! It takes a lot of the pressure off. Thank you, dearest Jeannine.
Marlee, thank you--for being here, for taking the time to comment on this essay, and for the effect your words have on me this morning, when I needed them.
I fully expected to be unimpressed with your response simply bc we read this kind of question and someone's rote (though trying!) response regularly, right? It's a common struggle for writers.
But you have written something that feels fresh and inspiring. I'm especially grateful for your mentioning that feeling at the completion of a piece when it is as good as you can get it - but you wanted more/better/the BEST. Of COURSE that could block us!
Thank you, Jeannine~
Such wisdom and generosity, Jeannine (as if I expected anything else)! I have wish I’d read this so many years ago. I remember being *exactly* where the writer is and nobody had any advice that was doable or that didn’t make me feel worse.
As someone who is still healing from creative wounds (perhaps some self-inflicted), thank you for this post.
You have spoken to my soul with this piece and I feel a great release. I too felt like I could take the external rejection but something else was there. It was the rejection of myself that was stopping me. Thank you so much for this exposition.
This makes me so happy, thank you for sharing this with me this morning. I am truly grateful.
I felt this like a bucket of water to my soul. So many of my struggles with my creativity, my 'talents' have been caught in the tangled need to be extraordinary when the other, more compassionate, patient, easily awed part of me, has longed to simply allow myself to be, as Hafiz so eloquently says, 'silently drawn by the strange pull of what I (you) really love...". I think perhaps we fear being ordinary because we equate it with living an unfulfilled life but perhaps it is in the letting go of the need to be extraordinary that we fall into the deeper, quieter magic of a 'real' life.
Gosh~YES “letting go of the need to be extraordinary…fall(ing) into the deeper, quieter magic of a ‘real’ life. As they say about truth & how it fits uniquely in our ears, this feels resonate to my very being~a deep, quiet, magic filled, but very Real life. It captures my want of being awake & alive to the every day moments of my life, to noticing them, deeply noticing them, to being open to magic without the need for fanfare, or big drama. And this Hafiz quote~I haven’t read it or heard it in a long time~it is♥️. Here’s to allowing ourselves to respond to the strange pulls of what we really love while they are right here in front of us!
So lovely to read your comment, Colleen and to recognise a kindred in your words. It's that quiet magic that really pulls at me and clearly at you too. May we both heed that pull and that deeper love that stirs us.
This is beautiful, Kat, and it feels like such a luminous reflection of what I am trying to say. Thank you so much. Your words lift me up this morning.
Thank you. This post was deeply affecting and I'm still sitting in the ripples. Glad I could repay even a little of that.
Jeannine - what you have written here is GOLD! "We change. We become a far realer and more alive version of ourselves as we heal the division in our consciousness that has kept us from our creative work in the first place. We become fully human as we make peace with the inevitable disappointment of the creative process, while celebrating its inherent joys. We become stronger as we endure that disappointment, along with the pain of rejection, criticism, and dismissal, all of which are real. But we also become braver, softer, and more resilient as we continue making work, engaging with the creative unknown, taking risks, and exposing our tenderest underbellies."
Thank you so very much for this!
Every word of Jeannine’s piece here was a liberation, feels like itself a “call to creative work,” but what you have called out specifically about becoming …”braver, softer, and more resilient as we continue making work, engaging with the creative unknown, taking risks, and exposing our tenderest underbellies” was Such a Truth for me. More and more, the act of creating itself is its own reward and its own reinforcer for me. The more I write, simply dare to create a thing, whatever it becomes or not, the more I feel I am living the life of a writer, living in the space of wonder, discovery, possibility…
Thank YOU for taking the time to share here, for helping me know my ordinary words matter, and for being such a beautiful member of this community. I am grateful.
This is stunning and so helpful, thank you🩷
Thank you so so much <3
After you mentioned reading 'Wingless Bodies' at AWP, I reread it last night....I love the swirl of different threads through the piece. Could you sometime share with us how that piece came together? I just love it!
Oh how lovely to hear this. Yes, I would love to share that story. Perhaps in a soon upcoming Lit Salon. If you want to hear the version where my friend Susan played violin, you can listen here: https://www.upthestaircase.org/jeannine-ouellette.html
I simply offer “Stuck” this - write about how it feels to be stuck. Brutally honest. Hold nothing back. Let it come up in you with all that is behind it. And do not even think about publishing it while you write. Maybe even tell yourself that “this one is just for me”. I’m willing to wager this will knock some things loose inside you.
I love this, Matt.
I'm pretty sure you were a kick-ass therapist in your previous life because that's what this essay is - therapy that heals. You knocked it out of the park with this one, hitting us in all the feelings in the best possible way, calling us to show up fully in the best possible way while asking us to be gentle on ourselves in the best possible way.
Thank you.
Wow. You have no idea--truly, no idea--how much of a balm these words are to me this morning, Donna. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you Jeannine. You touched it so gently, and made my cry.
Oh, my. Thank you, Susan, truly. I am grateful for this for it helps me, also, remember who I am.
Possibly my favorite WITD post yet, one to tag and re-read many times. Today, I'm clutching this passage in particular: "That’s the paradox: to claim the right to be creative, to make work and send it out (whether to be rejected or accepted, both are scary), and to make visible to the whole entire world your “call to creative work,” which is usually kept hidden in a very tender and vulnerable spot deep in the recesses of your heart, is revolutionary and, therefore, extraordinary, no matter what that work ultimately becomes or does not become in terms of its so-called importance." xo
Melissa, I am so grateful for your words here, and for signaling out that passage. Thank you so so much.
Let me just say, I love the way the questioner wrote the letter to Jeannine, because it’s relatable, and vulnerable. What I noticed about writing for me, even though I’ve only had one thing published, is that it’s made me a better reader. And also only recently do I realize what I really like to read. For instance, I really like reading this Substack. I like reading George Saunders Substack, I like reading writers who seem authentic. So maybe we should just focus on that! Of course I think Writing In The Dark is brilliant, but you’re right it doesn’t have to be brilliant! And it does put undue pressure on us when we are expected to be brilliant, or expect our work to be spectacular or “best selling” or whatever. The beauty of these past decades, writing about things, has given me a great gift, realizing what I really like to read, and that it’s ok that other people may not like to read what I prefer. Radical preference.
Radical preference!!! What a fantastic concept. I love this, Sea.
George Saunders said something like that when we first signed up, all those years ago. It stuck with me.
“. . . making a perfectly ordinary life of words.”
This came to me just at the right (write) time! That’s me. I want a perfectly ordinary life of words but wondered how to do that and be of service. Maybe I start with being of service to and honoring my own creativity first. Thank you! 💕🏄🏻♀️
YESSSSSS, Sheila. That is the portal, the path, and all of the steps. Love to you.
💕🏄
I love this message. I think so many fields (even outside of the creative space) give us the message that "everybody and their mother wants to do it, so why even try?" The reminder that there is space for all of us is to pursue our individual creative drives is so valuable, thank you!
Exactly. We live in an American Idol culture. As in, "who do you think you are, trying to create something?" It's up to us to reject that and reclaim our birthright. xo
I have always wanted to write a book, be a published author. I am an avid reader and admire the work of so many writers. As you have said before in different ways, Jeannine, it's OK to start from where you are and what you know. There is room for all of us to live a creative life. I hereby accept being ordinary! It takes a lot of the pressure off. Thank you, dearest Jeannine.
Marlee, thank you--for being here, for taking the time to comment on this essay, and for the effect your words have on me this morning, when I needed them.