Oh Jeannine ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 Footnote 2. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know this complex grief for a parent, the layers of it. I see you.
For me, it felt complicated to mourn the mother I always wanted but never had. Mourn how hard it was between us, how much she hurt me, how much I missed her my whole life. Mourn her loyalty binds. Mourn that standing up to her cracked her like I feared it would. Mourn the scapegoating and smear campaigns. Mourn the shitty freedom from our dreaded interactions after she passed.
One day, when I was washing dishes a few months after she died, these words floated to my mind: “It really did end badly.” I stopped washing and stared at the white wood blinds in front of the window above the kitchen sink. Dish soap bubbles crackled in the water. The square edge of the counter dug into my wrists as the words repeated themselves in my body.
It really did end badly.
I was stunned. In her last years, I’d fought so hard to accept she wouldn’t change. This acceptance was essential to purchase enough distance to survive her when she was alive. Still, that day, I discovered I’d held on to my great misbelief that someday, somehow, we’d fix it.
It’s been two years since my mom died, and I feel her finding her way back to me now. From this safer place, I’m finding my way towards her—even as I find my way towards my deeper, authentic self. Now I understand what people mean when they say they feel closer to their difficult parent after they died. I also have family members who need this time to feel the fullness of their anger. They have no desire to connect with her spirit this way. That makes sense to me, too.
If launching Letters and School in September feels noirishing to you, then do it. But if any part of you needs time and space to let this new wave of grief flow through, I’ll share these loving-bossy words from my therapist, who also has lived experience in this department.
“It’s going to fucking suck,” she said, “so prioritize self-care.”
She told me grief exhausts our bodies, more than we realize, and we may need to sleep 12-14 hours a day. I didn’t make the 12-14 hour range, but I did give myself permission to nap for the first time in my life. She also urged me to take more weeks off work than I thought I’d need, even though it was a busy time. I had the privilege to arrange a month. I’m grateful for her prescription to rest.
So if feels healing to move Letters and School to another month, and even pause your newsletter, then do it if you can take the time. We’ll be here, holding you in our hearts.
Gosh Monika, along with Jeannine, for whom your words were intended-& I’m so grateful for this-
I must also tell you how much your words have also touched me.
I lost my mom 2 yrs ago also. We too, had a difficult relationship. I’d coined myself a ‘motherless daughter’ before she’d even died because- for the bulk of my life it seemed to me that she simply could not tend to, or even be present for me emotionally. She was harsh, critical, had relentlessly high standards that seemed to only apply to me and not my 3 brothers.
I’d also distanced myself from her, starting at a very young age-taking the woman who lived next door to us at age 7, as my mother, so to speak, & eventually moving in with her when I was 17.
Though I never fully threw in the towel, (like you, I’d held on to this desire that somehow we’d ’fix it.”) I suppose subconscious parts of me were still trying to figure out what was wrong with me that I just couldn’t ‘get it right,’ make her pleased with me.
And well, instead, she got Alzheimer’s disease & died within 4 months. (I wrote a post about this where I shared her last words to me).
Since she passed, I have been on a rollercoaster…initially as you reference- feeling almost closer to her & her spirit-receiving insights & messages…downloads that feel like thoughts not distinctly my own (when I walk in the woods which is my church).
And then, I boomerang in another direction- one where I am all alone- disconnected & utterly bereft; feeling angry, confused, heartsick, & frantically wanting a ‘do-over.’
While I believe there is no one shape to grief- it is as distinct as the relationship itself- I think there are losses that carry unresolved complexities like heavy stones.
Thank you for speaking to ‘the suck’ and the Pure Exhaustion that Grief can bring. This is not spoken to nearly enough.
I have never been so tired in my life. (I used to think being pregnant or a new mom was the height of exhaustion).
But this- this is a blood & bone tired that takes away my ability to think at times; renders me stupefied.
Which I suppose sounds funny, if it weren’t so pathetic and frustrating.
[It doesn’t help that I also lost my other Mom (the one next door) just 2 years prior during Covid, & then, just this June, my best friend’s mom very unexpectedly also passed.]
I agree with you & others here who champion rest & self-care for Jeanine & Billie.
I say yes to: permission to do things on a new timeline if necessary; removing obligations, ‘shoulds’ & any extras that feel heavy, as able.
I was never very good at that, but it’s simply the only way forward for me now-one inch at a time. And when I lose myself & forget this, I am reminded by my body.
I am So Grateful for this authentic, creative, nurturing community Jeannine & Billie have created here. ✨
This space has become a haven of self-care for me; a safe place to rest, play, create, to connect, lose & find myself.
It’s become my lighthouse; one with extraordinary luminous intensity.
I add my voice to yours Monika, (& all the others) when I say we love & support you tending to your hearts Jeannine & Billie. We will be here. Xoxo
Colleen, I’m so moved by your letter. I’ve been absorbing it for days. I want to THIS every sentence, especially the unresolved complexities like heavy stones, the Bone and blood heavy exhaustion, and how this space has become a haven of self-care, a safe place to rest, play, create, to connect, lose & find ourselves. “It’s become my lighthouse; one with extraordinary luminous intensity.” YES, and it’s helping me heal. I’m sorry you, too, have had this experience, and I’m so grateful you shared it with me, with us, here. Thank you, thank you, thank you ♥️♥️♥️
Oh Monika- Thank You!!! ☺️ For sharing your experience & response to my comment. I’m honored to have moved you. Truly, truly. To feel seen by someone else in their experience feels almost holy- a holy witnessing that shortens the distance of isolation that can come with all the intensities of being a human, particularly one engulfed in grief. So you taking the time to comment & share how you feel does the same for me. I am grateful for you and all the connection & healing this space offers beyond its literary riches.
So much love and wisdom, Monika. Wish I could hug both of you right now! I have no wise words, just love, and to let you both know I see you and am here through all the suck and the also inevitable beautiful moments that happen despite it. Yes to self care as the priority. So glad you are here, Monika!
My mother died a year ago and every word you wrote is my lived experience as well. I just went to a Breathwork session focused on the Mother Wound. We wrote letters to ourselves from the point of view of our mothers, the version of her we wish she had been. We wrote sitting on the floor in the dark. In the dark. I haven’t been able to bring myself to read what I wrote, but the words and the breath have shifted my interiority. And now have brought me here to wonder and marvel at this tangled life from which we find truth and beauty.
Molly what a profound exercise, writing letters to yourselves in the dark - in the dark - from the mother you wish you had. I relate to this so much. One day, I was typing with my eyes closed, and I felt my mom’s words come to me from a kinder, more empathetic place. It “shifted my interiority,” as you say. Sending my sympathies for your complex loss. I’m so glad we’re finding truth and beauty here together.
Jeannine, I hope the music and the poems and a community (of your own making) full of love and gratitude are offering you some of the healing you seek.
I can't wait for Letters! I've always (and still do) loved to write and receive letters in the mail. My daughter used to tease me about them but now that she's middle aged, I think she secretly looks forward to them. One of my favorite Substacks is Letters of Note. And one of my favorite books is "Dear Mr. You" by Mary Louise Parker (yes, the actress)....SO good.
Vanessa, thanks for sharing this recommendation! I’d never heard of this book but I just looked it up and ordered a copy because it sounds so good! It’ll be the perfect companion for the letters intensive :)
I can’t believe Strange Containers is done and now we’re onto reimagining letters!! Time flies when we’re tuned into creative magic!! Can’t wait, can’t wait!!
Big hugs and love to you, Jeannine ❤️ Take all the time you need. We’ll be here. Always ❤️ Xoxo
Thanks, Mesa. It's a weird time, and a VERY busy time with the start of the semester. Right now I'm just kind of doing the things that remind me of who I am. But I'm doing them a little more slowly. Thank you xoxoxo
Strange Containers was my first WITD intensive and it was exciting + fun + totally overwhelming (the activity in the comments is SO good *and* reading it all could be a full time job!) I'm excited to join in on this new one, whenever it happens. As others have eloquently said, take the time you need. As I'm sure you know, grief has a funny way of moving us sideways + diagonally + backwards even as we continue to put one foot in front of the other, and shoulds can weigh ten thousand pounds each. We'll be here for it even if it doesn't start mid-September. Big love to your tender heart.
What a generous thing to say. Thank you, and welcome. Also, remember that you never have to do/read it all! It’s a treasure trove but it’s never required, it’s just there for whatever’s helpful, whenever it’s helpful. I’m glad you’re here ❤️
Hi! “grief has a funny way of moving us sideways + diagonally + backwards even as we continue to put one foot in front of the other, and shoulds can weigh ten thousand pounds each.” - How poignant & so true!
And “Big Love to your tender heart” is just perfect.
Sending healing vibes Jeannine, we are all here for you and support you. 🩷
And I just want to say a big thanks for all you do here and your offerings at WITD. Since I've joined, first as a reader and non participant, I suddenly got brave one day and jump in in the conversion, due to a writing prompt you offered. Since then I can't stop writing lol! 🤣 and its been both healing and enlightening.
Can't wait for this intensive. I have written letters to my future self and my current self in form of questions and answer formats, which was a great way to reveal truths.
Looking forward to what this intensive can teach me about creative letter writing.
Thank you Jeannine, I really appreciate you 🙏🏻💐 for all you do. I feel your passion and love for us all here. You have built such a special supportive community, I feel at home. 🏠❤️
I am singing all the letter songs in my head just anticipating this! Here’s to the things that make you feel you, and in their own time. You are a gift in so many ways.
Jeannine, I know you and I have similar "Dad" experiences, and I can only imagine the roller coaster of emotions you're riding right now. Please take whatever time you need, know that we are here for you, ask for anything you might need, and practice lots of self-care. That all sounded super bossy, but please know I'm sending it all to you with a gentle heart. XO
I have just joined and am still groping my way around WITD. I am totally interested in becoming actively involved in your intensives, as I love being challenged to grow (Lordy! Be careful what you wish for- ha,ha!). Then I found this enthusiastic post with info about the Sept. one on letter-writing. The post-script, though, is the piece that just grabbed my heart and gave it a twist.
Wow... You are carrying on regardless, but grief (esp. from a complicated relationship) truly has its own calendar --- not posted in advance with any kind of predictability, but unrolling one (full? fraught?) day at a time. I am so very sorry for your loss and hope you take all the time you need to nourish your spirit! In the comments afterward, I felt all the love in this community that you built, giving back to you and supporting each other as well. It's dawning on me what a blessing it is that the universe guided me to join this special group of brave and compassionate souls. I've never been a part of anything like it.
From across the oceans, sending you deep gratitude for all you give even as you navigate troubled waters. May you feel held in the safety of our love in this community.
"Letters to My Mother " is a title of a written work that I wish I'd written while she was alive. We had a fraught relationship, and I often think letters may have bridged the gap. I look forward to learning more about letter writing, to bring depth and an increased sense of aliveness to what I write.
Sending love and light to you, Jeannine. 💛 Go gently these next few weeks.
To me, September is revolutionary. My favorite month. It feels more powerful than the turn of the actual calendar year. New energy and fresh starts without the added expectations of resolutions that the New Year can bring. Perhaps it’s the perpetual student in me that gets revitalized every September.
Right before I opened this post I wrote a letter to my future self one year from now. To the Allison who will be stepping into September in 2025. So this next Intensive feels magically aligned. Literal goosebumps as I was reading your post. So looking forward to it.
I used fictional letter writing in my memoir and it was incredibly healing, written present day, not when they were dated. As I discovered more and more about my biological father, I wanted all the parts of me to relate to him — the innocent child, the anxious teenager — I wanted to feel what it might’ve been like to know him during various phases of my life. Writing from younger perspectives gave me a freedom to express longings that had never previously surfaced and weave those into a fuller experience of my current self. It also helped me reflect on stories I’ve learned about him and lean into caring for and developing compassion for someone I never knew.
Oh Jeannine ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 Footnote 2. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know this complex grief for a parent, the layers of it. I see you.
For me, it felt complicated to mourn the mother I always wanted but never had. Mourn how hard it was between us, how much she hurt me, how much I missed her my whole life. Mourn her loyalty binds. Mourn that standing up to her cracked her like I feared it would. Mourn the scapegoating and smear campaigns. Mourn the shitty freedom from our dreaded interactions after she passed.
One day, when I was washing dishes a few months after she died, these words floated to my mind: “It really did end badly.” I stopped washing and stared at the white wood blinds in front of the window above the kitchen sink. Dish soap bubbles crackled in the water. The square edge of the counter dug into my wrists as the words repeated themselves in my body.
It really did end badly.
I was stunned. In her last years, I’d fought so hard to accept she wouldn’t change. This acceptance was essential to purchase enough distance to survive her when she was alive. Still, that day, I discovered I’d held on to my great misbelief that someday, somehow, we’d fix it.
It’s been two years since my mom died, and I feel her finding her way back to me now. From this safer place, I’m finding my way towards her—even as I find my way towards my deeper, authentic self. Now I understand what people mean when they say they feel closer to their difficult parent after they died. I also have family members who need this time to feel the fullness of their anger. They have no desire to connect with her spirit this way. That makes sense to me, too.
If launching Letters and School in September feels noirishing to you, then do it. But if any part of you needs time and space to let this new wave of grief flow through, I’ll share these loving-bossy words from my therapist, who also has lived experience in this department.
“It’s going to fucking suck,” she said, “so prioritize self-care.”
She told me grief exhausts our bodies, more than we realize, and we may need to sleep 12-14 hours a day. I didn’t make the 12-14 hour range, but I did give myself permission to nap for the first time in my life. She also urged me to take more weeks off work than I thought I’d need, even though it was a busy time. I had the privilege to arrange a month. I’m grateful for her prescription to rest.
So if feels healing to move Letters and School to another month, and even pause your newsletter, then do it if you can take the time. We’ll be here, holding you in our hearts.
Sending so much love to you and Billie. 💞💞
Monica, this is just luminously beautiful, generous, wise, so many good things. I love all the parts of it, and you.
Love you Jeannine ♥️♥️♥️
Gosh Monika, along with Jeannine, for whom your words were intended-& I’m so grateful for this-
I must also tell you how much your words have also touched me.
I lost my mom 2 yrs ago also. We too, had a difficult relationship. I’d coined myself a ‘motherless daughter’ before she’d even died because- for the bulk of my life it seemed to me that she simply could not tend to, or even be present for me emotionally. She was harsh, critical, had relentlessly high standards that seemed to only apply to me and not my 3 brothers.
I’d also distanced myself from her, starting at a very young age-taking the woman who lived next door to us at age 7, as my mother, so to speak, & eventually moving in with her when I was 17.
Though I never fully threw in the towel, (like you, I’d held on to this desire that somehow we’d ’fix it.”) I suppose subconscious parts of me were still trying to figure out what was wrong with me that I just couldn’t ‘get it right,’ make her pleased with me.
And well, instead, she got Alzheimer’s disease & died within 4 months. (I wrote a post about this where I shared her last words to me).
Since she passed, I have been on a rollercoaster…initially as you reference- feeling almost closer to her & her spirit-receiving insights & messages…downloads that feel like thoughts not distinctly my own (when I walk in the woods which is my church).
And then, I boomerang in another direction- one where I am all alone- disconnected & utterly bereft; feeling angry, confused, heartsick, & frantically wanting a ‘do-over.’
While I believe there is no one shape to grief- it is as distinct as the relationship itself- I think there are losses that carry unresolved complexities like heavy stones.
Thank you for speaking to ‘the suck’ and the Pure Exhaustion that Grief can bring. This is not spoken to nearly enough.
I have never been so tired in my life. (I used to think being pregnant or a new mom was the height of exhaustion).
But this- this is a blood & bone tired that takes away my ability to think at times; renders me stupefied.
Which I suppose sounds funny, if it weren’t so pathetic and frustrating.
[It doesn’t help that I also lost my other Mom (the one next door) just 2 years prior during Covid, & then, just this June, my best friend’s mom very unexpectedly also passed.]
I agree with you & others here who champion rest & self-care for Jeanine & Billie.
I say yes to: permission to do things on a new timeline if necessary; removing obligations, ‘shoulds’ & any extras that feel heavy, as able.
I was never very good at that, but it’s simply the only way forward for me now-one inch at a time. And when I lose myself & forget this, I am reminded by my body.
I am So Grateful for this authentic, creative, nurturing community Jeannine & Billie have created here. ✨
This space has become a haven of self-care for me; a safe place to rest, play, create, to connect, lose & find myself.
It’s become my lighthouse; one with extraordinary luminous intensity.
I add my voice to yours Monika, (& all the others) when I say we love & support you tending to your hearts Jeannine & Billie. We will be here. Xoxo
Colleen, this is heartbreaking. I feel some of this in the loss of my grandmother.
I love what you say about WITD “This space has become a haven of self-care for me; a safe place to rest, play, create, to connect, lose & find myself.
It’s become my lighthouse; one with extraordinary luminous intensity.”
Xoxo
Thank you for sharing your heartbreak Lindsey. ♥️
Witnessing you in this loss & our shared loved for WITD.
Colleen, I’m so moved by your letter. I’ve been absorbing it for days. I want to THIS every sentence, especially the unresolved complexities like heavy stones, the Bone and blood heavy exhaustion, and how this space has become a haven of self-care, a safe place to rest, play, create, to connect, lose & find ourselves. “It’s become my lighthouse; one with extraordinary luminous intensity.” YES, and it’s helping me heal. I’m sorry you, too, have had this experience, and I’m so grateful you shared it with me, with us, here. Thank you, thank you, thank you ♥️♥️♥️
Oh Monika- Thank You!!! ☺️ For sharing your experience & response to my comment. I’m honored to have moved you. Truly, truly. To feel seen by someone else in their experience feels almost holy- a holy witnessing that shortens the distance of isolation that can come with all the intensities of being a human, particularly one engulfed in grief. So you taking the time to comment & share how you feel does the same for me. I am grateful for you and all the connection & healing this space offers beyond its literary riches.
So much love and wisdom, Monika. Wish I could hug both of you right now! I have no wise words, just love, and to let you both know I see you and am here through all the suck and the also inevitable beautiful moments that happen despite it. Yes to self care as the priority. So glad you are here, Monika!
Thanks Emily 💜💜💜 I feel your love. So grateful to be tucked under your strong wing.
❤️🦤🪶
My mother died a year ago and every word you wrote is my lived experience as well. I just went to a Breathwork session focused on the Mother Wound. We wrote letters to ourselves from the point of view of our mothers, the version of her we wish she had been. We wrote sitting on the floor in the dark. In the dark. I haven’t been able to bring myself to read what I wrote, but the words and the breath have shifted my interiority. And now have brought me here to wonder and marvel at this tangled life from which we find truth and beauty.
Molly what a profound exercise, writing letters to yourselves in the dark - in the dark - from the mother you wish you had. I relate to this so much. One day, I was typing with my eyes closed, and I felt my mom’s words come to me from a kinder, more empathetic place. It “shifted my interiority,” as you say. Sending my sympathies for your complex loss. I’m so glad we’re finding truth and beauty here together.
"And where did you put all those letters
That you wrote to yourself
But could not address?"
~ Ani DiFranco
Jeannine, I hope the music and the poems and a community (of your own making) full of love and gratitude are offering you some of the healing you seek.
Ah, the Ani DiFranco is perfect. And yes, it is, all of it. I am not really able to speak to it articulately just yet, but yes, yes, yes. So much so.
I can't wait for Letters! I've always (and still do) loved to write and receive letters in the mail. My daughter used to tease me about them but now that she's middle aged, I think she secretly looks forward to them. One of my favorite Substacks is Letters of Note. And one of my favorite books is "Dear Mr. You" by Mary Louise Parker (yes, the actress)....SO good.
Vanessa, thanks for sharing this recommendation! I’d never heard of this book but I just looked it up and ordered a copy because it sounds so good! It’ll be the perfect companion for the letters intensive :)
Oh good. I know you'll enjoy the book...it's letters to different men throughout her life. She is an excellent writer.
Vanessa-I LOVE “Dear Mr. You”!!!!! (& Mary Louise Parker :-) Sooo Good!!! Thanks for the SS rec
I can’t believe Strange Containers is done and now we’re onto reimagining letters!! Time flies when we’re tuned into creative magic!! Can’t wait, can’t wait!!
Big hugs and love to you, Jeannine ❤️ Take all the time you need. We’ll be here. Always ❤️ Xoxo
Thanks, Mesa. It's a weird time, and a VERY busy time with the start of the semester. Right now I'm just kind of doing the things that remind me of who I am. But I'm doing them a little more slowly. Thank you xoxoxo
Strange Containers was my first WITD intensive and it was exciting + fun + totally overwhelming (the activity in the comments is SO good *and* reading it all could be a full time job!) I'm excited to join in on this new one, whenever it happens. As others have eloquently said, take the time you need. As I'm sure you know, grief has a funny way of moving us sideways + diagonally + backwards even as we continue to put one foot in front of the other, and shoulds can weigh ten thousand pounds each. We'll be here for it even if it doesn't start mid-September. Big love to your tender heart.
What a generous thing to say. Thank you, and welcome. Also, remember that you never have to do/read it all! It’s a treasure trove but it’s never required, it’s just there for whatever’s helpful, whenever it’s helpful. I’m glad you’re here ❤️
Hi! “grief has a funny way of moving us sideways + diagonally + backwards even as we continue to put one foot in front of the other, and shoulds can weigh ten thousand pounds each.” - How poignant & so true!
And “Big Love to your tender heart” is just perfect.
Sending healing vibes Jeannine, we are all here for you and support you. 🩷
And I just want to say a big thanks for all you do here and your offerings at WITD. Since I've joined, first as a reader and non participant, I suddenly got brave one day and jump in in the conversion, due to a writing prompt you offered. Since then I can't stop writing lol! 🤣 and its been both healing and enlightening.
Can't wait for this intensive. I have written letters to my future self and my current self in form of questions and answer formats, which was a great way to reveal truths.
Looking forward to what this intensive can teach me about creative letter writing.
That's so awesome--oh,I love hearing when the words start flowing and keep going. It's really beautiful. Thank you for sharing, Jane.
Thank you Jeannine, I really appreciate you 🙏🏻💐 for all you do. I feel your passion and love for us all here. You have built such a special supportive community, I feel at home. 🏠❤️
I am singing all the letter songs in my head just anticipating this! Here’s to the things that make you feel you, and in their own time. You are a gift in so many ways.
I'm grateful to be here, now. xoxo
❤️
Yippee! I know this will be one of my favorites. Thank you for coming up with yet another goodie- what a deep well you have Jeannine🎈
Thank you, friend. I love writing with you and you are on fire. I know I've said it already, but it keeps crackling.
Yippeeeeeee! Can’t wait!
Jeannine, I know you and I have similar "Dad" experiences, and I can only imagine the roller coaster of emotions you're riding right now. Please take whatever time you need, know that we are here for you, ask for anything you might need, and practice lots of self-care. That all sounded super bossy, but please know I'm sending it all to you with a gentle heart. XO
I like when strong, smart, loving people give me a little bossing, tbh. Thank you. I'm grateful. xoxo
I have just joined and am still groping my way around WITD. I am totally interested in becoming actively involved in your intensives, as I love being challenged to grow (Lordy! Be careful what you wish for- ha,ha!). Then I found this enthusiastic post with info about the Sept. one on letter-writing. The post-script, though, is the piece that just grabbed my heart and gave it a twist.
Wow... You are carrying on regardless, but grief (esp. from a complicated relationship) truly has its own calendar --- not posted in advance with any kind of predictability, but unrolling one (full? fraught?) day at a time. I am so very sorry for your loss and hope you take all the time you need to nourish your spirit! In the comments afterward, I felt all the love in this community that you built, giving back to you and supporting each other as well. It's dawning on me what a blessing it is that the universe guided me to join this special group of brave and compassionate souls. I've never been a part of anything like it.
This is very moving to me, Flo, and I am very very glad you are here. I look forward to writing letters with you xo
Jeannine, I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you find freedom and healing to grieve in whatever way your grief takes shape.
Woot!
❤️
From across the oceans, sending you deep gratitude for all you give even as you navigate troubled waters. May you feel held in the safety of our love in this community.
"Letters to My Mother " is a title of a written work that I wish I'd written while she was alive. We had a fraught relationship, and I often think letters may have bridged the gap. I look forward to learning more about letter writing, to bring depth and an increased sense of aliveness to what I write.
Sending love and light to you, Jeannine. 💛 Go gently these next few weeks.
To me, September is revolutionary. My favorite month. It feels more powerful than the turn of the actual calendar year. New energy and fresh starts without the added expectations of resolutions that the New Year can bring. Perhaps it’s the perpetual student in me that gets revitalized every September.
Right before I opened this post I wrote a letter to my future self one year from now. To the Allison who will be stepping into September in 2025. So this next Intensive feels magically aligned. Literal goosebumps as I was reading your post. So looking forward to it.
I used fictional letter writing in my memoir and it was incredibly healing, written present day, not when they were dated. As I discovered more and more about my biological father, I wanted all the parts of me to relate to him — the innocent child, the anxious teenager — I wanted to feel what it might’ve been like to know him during various phases of my life. Writing from younger perspectives gave me a freedom to express longings that had never previously surfaced and weave those into a fuller experience of my current self. It also helped me reflect on stories I’ve learned about him and lean into caring for and developing compassion for someone I never knew.
In other words, I love this prompt!
How beautiful this sounds!!!